People write me and tell me they are unable to find their purpose. How does that feel? Do you feel as though you are drifting, feel disconnected can’t seem to get your feet on the ground? Are you constantly asking the question, “
Why am I here?
What am I supposed to be doing?
What I know about each one of you is that each of you is totally unique and each one of you has a contribution to make that no one else can make. Just applying for a job any job that’s available that will make money will not lead you to your unique purpose.
The most important thing you need to do to get unstuck and moving forward is to find your purpose for being alive. When you find that, you will find satisfaction and meaning in your life. This means reconnecting with the dreams you probably put aside when you became an adult.
Some questions….Do you really listen to the deepest desires of your heart or have you talked yourself out of them?
And if you talk yourself out of them what are you telling yourself? I don’t see how to get there. I’m not sure what my parents, friends would say about this.
Everyone I talk to says this isn’t practical. No one in the family has ever done anything like this. My parents have paid for school because they want me to be for ex a lawyer. I can’t let them down.
How to Identify Your deepest Desires
The deepest desires of your heart come from the highest and most authentic part of yourself. You can identify those dreams because they come through your longing, what you wish for and your discontent., what you’re dissatisfied with.
Let’s say you are not satisfied with your job and want something more satisfying. Now what many of us do is to keep looking at what we don’t want. Instead look at what you don’t want and ask yourself . “What do I want?” List everything you don’t like about the situation. Let’s say you don’t have a supportive supervisor. What does that tell you about what you do want. What you do want is a supportive supervisor. You can do this with each of your dissatisfactions.
There was an exercise in What Color is Your Parachute? By Richard Bolles many years ago. Look at your work life, volunteer life, hobbies and find five times you were truly happy. Once you have the five different times, look at what you were doing, what abilities you were using. What kind of people were you with. What kind of work were you doing? Were there certain working conditions that appealed to you the most? Was it a day job or a night job. Were you working in a team or alone? What was it that brought you satisfaction in each experience. Then ask yourself, “Are there any similarities between the different experiences.?”
When I did this exercise many years ago, I discovered there were similarities. I had listed, being a mother, being a meditation teacher, being a counselor In every situation I was involved with the growth and development of people in some way. Otherwise whatever I was doing didn’t have meaning. I couldn’t sell something like Mary Kay for example because I couldn’t have cared less. That didn’t involve me with the growth and development of people. This was tremendously important for me to know when job hunting for example and has turned out to be one of the major themes of my life.
How Have You Talked Yourself Out of Moving Forward
Or, the other way you can approach it is to look at what you do want, your desires. Now, there is probably a reason you haven’t acted on them. Maybe you got an idea about how to move forward but talked yourself out of it. Perhaps you haven’t moved forward because you don’t see a path how to get there. I’ll bet you do see the first step though and when you take that the next step will appear.
If you’re not doing what you would love to do because of family members, remember you are not your parents. You don’t owe them your life. Down deep, they love you and want you to be happy. So when you decide to go your own way they might be angry for a while but they’ll get over it.
Have you resisted moving forward because your desire didn’t accommodate one of your deepest values.? There was a young mother who was dying to have adventures. She was a hair dresser and thought she could do it on a ship. This mean’t she would have to be away from her 2 year old daughter for months at a time. That desire didn’t conform to her deepest value of giving her child what she needed. Instead she shifted to another one of her deepest desires to go to college and become an elementary school teacher. This goal allowed her to live the deeper value of being there for her daughter. She was at home and in school when her child was young. Her daughter was in her first class.
People talk themselves out of moving forward because of fears. This is a whole other topic of discussion which I will cover in another vlog.
Summary
- Finding your purpose is the first step to leading a soul satisfying life.
- How to identify your deepest desires.
- How have you talked yourself out of them.
If you’ve been struggling with finding your purpose and haven’t been able to move forward, I’d like to offer you a complimentary 45 minute coaching session with me. In it we will examine where you are now and what you would love.
and discover what is preventing you from taking the first steps.. Then we’ll determine the next best step to help you get off dead center and moving forward.
If you’d like to take me up on a coaching session, use this link to sign up for a time with me.
